


Short 11 - Poking The Beast

by stgjr



Series: "The Power of a Name" Series 2 - "Time Lord Triumphant" [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Honor Harrington Series - David Weber, Multi-Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 10:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10384167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stgjr/pseuds/stgjr
Summary: Our narrator is dropped into a tricky situation by his rascally TARDIS... and ponders just what the point is in the title "Citizen Secretary" anyway.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on April 22nd, 2014.

My TARDIS is such a rascal sometimes.  
  
So here me and my companions are, ready for a relaxing nature walk on Vesper Prime. I shifted the TARDIS as usual and put my hands together. "I hear the weather's always mild on their temperate island chains."  
  
"It'd better be," Janias responded. "That last place you took us to was a sauna."  
  
"Saunas can be good. Saunas..." I stopped mid-sentence as I opened the TARDIS and stepped out.  
  
There was no delightful beach on the other end. No verdant forest or white sands. It was a military landing area with a number of uniformed men and women lined up, some armed with rifles and some not. A shuttle had recently landed, it seemed, with a line of people escorted out. At first glance it looked to be a welcoming committee of some sort, but seeing the body language of the visitors showed what kind of welcoming committee it was: not very welcoming to the guests.  
  
Having seen the starbursts on most of those present, not to mention the flags, my eyes settled on the uniformed "guests" and the particular insignia on them. No starburst. Rather a golden form of an animal of some sort, winged and with a nasty looking tail. Not a chimera....  
  
Oh, yes. A manticore.  
  
Manticore.  
  
It was about that point I realized where I was. And that "guest" and "host" alike were staring at me. One particular set of blue eyes, attached to a head of golden hair and a diminutive frame almost trembling with energy, was distinctly focused on me, in the fashion of a person who's moment of glory is being unexpectedly spoiled. A couple of rifles were starting to turn my way.  
  
Like I said, my TARDIS is such a _rascal_.  
  
"I forgot to carry the two," I proclaimed aloud. I wagged my finger. "I always forget the two. Why do I always...?" I looked back into the TARDIS. "Girls, I forgot to carry the two again!"  
  
On cue, they groaned. Loudly.  
  
I looked back to the assembled and clapped my hands together. "I always forget the... oh, I'm sorry. I'm interrupting something. So rude of me. So terribly rude. Hello, everyone. I'm the Doctor." My hand slipped into my pocket just long enough to grab my sonic screwdriver. Given the guns leveled at me, I took it out slowly. "Laser pointer. The tip is purple. I love purple. Now..."  
  
" _Who are you_?", the blonde demanded.  
  
"As I said, I'm the Doctor. I'm..." I almost said "Time Lord" but my brain shouted that down. Not the wisest term to use given this one's.... viewpoints. "...a Gallifreyan. Just look Human. Two hearts, though, brain's all different. Anyway, whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with?"  
  
That brought some confusion to mix with the growing anger. Clearly this one didn't expect me to be ignorant of her. "This is Citizen Secretary Cordelia Ransom," one uniformed man said, looking very much like he was trying to keep the situation from exploding. Good man, that one. "Secretary of Information for the People's Republic."  
  
"Ah, I see." I gave a confused look. "Citizen Secretary? Curious use of words there. Doesn't that imply that someone can be a secretary and not be a citizen?"  
  
"It is to enforce _equality_ ," Ransom growled. "Those who believe otherwise are obvious Enemies of the People."  
  
"Oh, well, I can't have that, always liked the People myself. A little strange in costume but... wait, you're not talking about the Village People. Or the People of Song. Sorry, I get mixed up easily. What People are you talking about?"  
  
I kept my voice vibrant but not assertive and did my best to not eye the guns being pointed my way. I knew that at any moment the order to shoot might be given - the good Secretary, I mean, _Citizen_ Secretary was clearly not in good sorts - and that meant keeping that order from being given meant I had to keep her off-balance.  
  
Minds like Cordelia Ransom's remind me of the Churchill saying: "Fanatics can't change their mind and won't change the subject". _Any_ indication that I was on the subject of her fanaticism would simply play into her narrow mind and trigger a response. The solution was to derail the Ransom train by confusing the hell out of her with things that didn't fit into that narrow mind. They were all already off balance by my sudden unexpected arrival, and I was good at rolling with those in a way they weren't. I just had to... press that advantage as long as I could.  
  
"The _People_ ," Ransom hissed, "are the common citizens."  
  
"Ah, I see now. _Those_ People. Jolly good, always liked the People. Help them out when I can. Saved a whole galaxy of People once. Got shot. Long story." I smiled and put my hands together, checking my sonic in the process to see what I was dealing with. "I do so apologize for the interruption, by the way, but I'll make it up to you. How would you like to see the Amethyst Cliffs of Jeli? They're very lovely."  
  
"I am not..."  
  
"No? Hrm, yes, I gather you're more the type for the Obsidian Prisms." With no immediate reply, I continued. "Crystal spires of Tuzanor? Oh come now, I'm sure a Citizen Secretary's job is difficult enough that a vacation is warranted, some relaxing time in Bajor's Kendra Valley perhaps, or the sights of Ashalla."  
  
"There can be no vacations while the elitists of Manticore continue to attack us!", Ransom raged. "And you are interfering with the punishment of these Enemies of the People!"  
  
"Really?" I leaned forward conspiratorially. "What did they do?"  
  
"This is Commodore Harrington, the war criminal who butchered the sailors of the _Sirius_ at Basilisk!", Ransom thundered. "Everyone knows what she did?"  
  
"Sorry, I'm a traveler, don't always stay up on the news." I looked to the stone-faced Manticoran Commodore, a woman with Caucasian and East Asian features and a cat perched on her shoulder. "Killing innocent people? Tsk tsk tsk. Bad Commodore. Bad." I waggled the sonic at her... giving me the opportunity to check on the scans. Magnetic firearms. Oooh, I knew how to deal with those. I surreptitiously switched the sonic screwdriver to counter such weapons. I looked back to Ransom. "Are you sure you don't want to go off on a little cruise? I can return you to this point in time, and you look like you could use a good vacation."  
  
Ransom looked like she was fit to explode.  
  
"Ah, I'll take that as a no, or a maybe later," I continued, keeping my voice chipper and jolly. It was clear my deception was running its course; the train had been kept off the tracks up until now, but pure rage was shifting her into gear. I moved on to the next phase of my plan, namely, the cat on Commodore Harrington's shoulder. "Oh, isn't he cute?", I cooed, walking up to the woman and looking at her cat. He had six arms. "Hexalimbed feline species... oh, quite a good looking one too. I'm sorry Citizen Secretary, but I'm quite a cat lover. Can't get enough of kittens." I brought my hand up and stroked the cat under the chin, causing both him and the woman he was perched on to stare at me in wonderment. "Isn't he so cuuute, yes he is."  
  
The moment I made contact I knew I might have, at most, a second before the irate treecat tried to saw my finger off. The reason I risked mutilation? I knew that this species tended to forge solid empathic links with humans they lived with, to the point that the wounding of one caused pain for the other; indeed killing the cat would have undoubtedly done major harm to the woman as well. And that empathic link was something I could use with my own psionic capacity. _Calm down there, my good cat. And Commodore Honor Harrington, isn't it? Don't look surprised, but narrow your left eye if you hear me._  
  
She did so, clearly shocked.  
  
 _Okay. When you get the signal, get your people and run for that police call box. You'll know when._  
  
"She is an enemy!", Ransom raged, finding her voice finally. "An Enemy of the People, a murderer of our citizens, and a symbol of elitist oppression! By patronizing with her and that ridiculous pet you prove yourself another Enemy of the People and...."  
  
"You know, I've seen several examples of rhetoric like this," I declared, shedding my smile and beginning to scowl. "People who declare all of their opponents, no matter their motives, to be more than just 'wrong' but actively malicious. 'Enemy of the People'. Such a loaded term. By its very nature it implies someone is against the whole of society regardless of the truth of their beliefs." I focused my eyes on Ransom. "And then there's always someone like you, fanning the flames of intolerance and hatred until they consume everything, even those you claim to be standing for."  
  
"Shoot him!", Ransom ordered her bodyguards.  
  
They brought up their rifles. But my sonic came up faster.  
  
The pulse I sent out with it was an energetic pulse keyed to the capacitors in their "railgun" firearms. The guns' barrels exploded, although it was more of a loud popping noise with sparks. I swung the screwdriver around, emitting the field as I went. Weapons all over the landing area when pop-spark-crackle-fizz.  
  
"And now we _run_!", I shouted.  
  
The guards, I give them credit. They tried to stand their ground. Their guns could no longer fire, but they were still lethal clubs, and they advanced on me and the Manticoran prisoners with weapons raised.  
  
There was a flash of purple light in my vision and the familiar snap and hiss sound of a lightsaber being activated. Janias had gotten enough practice with me that she was a deadly combatant now when she got the room, spinning and slicing and jumping about. She scythed through a platoon that was moving to cut us off from the TARDIS.  
  
Granted, that still left a few dozen military personnel to overwhelm us... but they were hitting the floor. I glanced and saw Camilla standing by the TARDIS entrance, a familiar-looking assault rifle in her arms. The assembled officers and soldiers hit the deck to avoid getting shot as mass effect-propelled rounds zipped over their heads.  
  
I pulled out the sonic disruptor and used it to send a guard rushing me into another attempting to attack one of Harrington's crew. For their part they were making short work - well mostly - of the guards who had been nearest to them.  
  
"Stop them!", Ransom screamed. "Stop...!"  
  
She didn't get to say another word. My little feline friend, having refrained from slicing my fingers to bits, decided on another target. It's surprising how quickly six legs can let something move.  
  
And it's not so surprising how six legs with razor-sharp claws on the end can ruin a person, as the Citizen Secretary found out. I actually turned away, not wanting to see more as blood poured from Ransom's face with Nimitz latched on. A spurt of blood in the corner of my vision told me he'd found her carotid.  
  
The guards were down by this point, wounded by Janias' lightsaber or by the attacks of the Manticoran crew. They were streaming into the TARDIS now, a couple of them wounded in various ways but, for the moment, intact.  
  
As I got to the door I looked at Cami. "Where did you get that?!", I demanded.  
  
"Garrus," she replied. "He said something about how anyone crazy enough to let Shepard shoot him would be needing better cover fire."  
  
"I'm going to have words with Mister Vakarian, I don't like...." I stopped myself, remembering we still had the business of escaping, preferably before some enterprising Havenite manned a shuttle or some other armed craft. "Everyone in? Good!", I said instead, noticing everyone looking around the TARDIS control room. "Bigger on the inside."  
  
As I reached for the controls, the thought came to me. Why was I feeling so upset that Cami had an assault rifle? I'm a practical man, aren't I?  
  
The only thought in response was _The Doctor doesn't use guns_.  
  
Seeing the looks I was getting as I set the coordinates, I spoke out loud/ "Okay everyone, next step is Manticore. I think I have these coordinates right, a nice scenic park in the capital, should be a marvelous view..." I pulled the lever. _VWORP VWORP VWORP_. "Hear that sound? Lovely sound. Always a lovely sound. Hand-brake my arse." I looked up to see the assembled officers all glancing at each other. I could see what the looks on their faces meant; everything had turned topsy turvy on them and they were wondering what was going on. "This is my TARDIS, by the way. It's bigger on the inside because of dimensionally transcendental technology. She decided to be an utter rascal and drop me into that little scene, so I played along." With the VWORPing stopped I walked back to the door. "And now, here we...."  
  
I opened the door, stepped out.... and faced down a gun pointed in my face.  
  
Quickly I took in my surroundings. The man was in battle armor of a sort, but clearly it had a ceremonial as well as practical purpose. There were other armed men present as well - armed men and women I should say - and... this was understandably so, as we were not in a park but in a large hall. A throne room of sorts, actually.  
  
A woman with dark skin looked at me with surprise and irritation. She was seated in a throne. And I noticed the Manticoran insignia on her clothing and on the flag behind her. Queen Elizabeth, then.  
  
I certainly do know how to drop in, don't I?  
  
"I forgot to carry the two again," I muttered. I executed a slight bow so I wouldn't get shot by a bodyguard thinking I was up to something. "I'm sorry for the surprise, Your Majesty, I forgot the two again."  
  
The woman's eyes widened, as did those of her officials, when Commodore Harrington stepped out behind me, her fellow officers following her. "Commodore Harrington?"  
  
Honor executed a proper bow. "Your Majesty."  
  
"I had been told you were captured by Haven," the Queen said. "Who is this man, and what is that... 'police call box'?"  
  
"I'm not entirely sure myself," she answered. "But he faced down Cordelia Ransom and rescued us."  
  
"Yes, that was... a pleasant outcome to an unintended visit," I replied. "I am the Doctor, Your Majesty, and that is my TARDIS. I was pleased to be of assistance to you and your officers. The Havenites are rather nasty buggers at the moment, showing them up was my pleasure."  
  
She looked to an aide. "Summon the Admiralty and the Cabinet, now. We must all hear this."  
  
I drew in a sigh. I really hated having to repeat stories to these types. Especially since there would inevitably be someone who wanted to use the TARDIS as a weapon. But I had a number of guns pointing at me so, well, have to do what I can, right?  
  
  
  
  
After a few hours of explanations and a rather splendid impromptu banquet, I stepped back into the TARDIS to check something important. Janias and Cami were already heading to bed. I would have to talk to Cami later about that rifle, although... what did I have to object to? Sometimes you need a firearm.  
  
Again my inner voice spoke in my head. _The Doctor doesn't use guns_.  
  
Qhen I came back out, Honor was waiting for me. "Thank you for rescuing us," she answered. "Ransom was going to murder Nimitz."  
  
"Yes. I rather suspect that's why he did such a job on her face." I held out a data crystal solid. "You should be able to get one of your computer technicians to find a way to extract the data from this, I'm not so familiar with your average storage devices."  
  
Honor accepted the crystal. "What's on it?"  
  
"It's a solar system that your forces should really try to take. Quietly, you don't want Haven to know you know about it," I answered. "It's their prison planet. There are prisoners there who will prove of use to your Kingdom and its war effort."  
  
"I see." She pocketed the crystal. "It's where I would have ended up if you hadn't come along, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes. Ransom had plans." I smirked. "Your crew would have ruined them, of course, but you would have been stuck there in the process.. And I think I can safely say you will prefer this outcome to that one. Being stuck for two years in a bad place like that isn't an enjoyable experience."  
  
"Indeed not." I sensed she was still a little... wobbled, perhaps? I had just drastically changed what she and the others knew of the world. "I hope you return sometime, Doctor. We could use good men like you against Haven."  
  
"You'll do a bang-up job against them, don't worry. And I may check in. Though..." I leaned closer to her to whisper. "I must warn you, Commodore. Haven is not your true enemy. They must be dealt with, but there is a greater threat." I lowered my voice more. "I can't say much, I've altered your timeline enough already. But I must sum it up in one word: Mesa."  
  
"Mesa?"  
  
"Yes. Mesa. Be very careful with that word, Commodore. And be ready to speak on it when the time is right." I smirked. "I may be back by that point. I have... issues with the forces at play there."  
  
"I really wish you would be straight forward about this," she complained.  
  
"Sorry. I'm a Time Lord. We enjoy this sort of thing." I winked. "Take care, Commodore. Enjoy your early return home, and don't forget about that prison planet."  
  
"Safe travels, Doctor."  
  
I gave a nod in reply and stepped into the TARDIS. When I got to the controls I waggled a finger at them. "Okay you, this time no tricks!"  
  
I heard a giggle in the air and knew my request would be futile.  
  
And, I suppose, I wouldn't have had it any other way.


End file.
